Where did my sex drive go?
Let’s face it, as men we can be very stubborn; no matter how many times we are told something we don’t relent. This is why we sometimes refuse to accept that we have male menopause or andropause. We prefer to look at it as the mid-life crisis that has Corvette’s driving of the lot rather rapidly. For those of us who thought we were amazingly lucky to have a younger wife, think again. As you’re going through your changes, living with someone who isn’t at the same point in their lives becomes more difficult.
Yes, I married a woman 13 years younger than me; I am now 45 years old and she is 32 years young. It wasn’t much of a difference when she was 25 and I was 38. It seemed perfectly reasonable at the time; after all I wasn’t going to go through menopause. Here I am only 45 years old with an amazing wife and my libido isn’t kicking in. My wife, I can attest, has a perfectly functional sex drive. I remember when I could not keep my hands off her and now I am staying late at the office to avoid her altogether; it is a blow to my ego when I have to turn her down.
Aside from simply having a low sex drive I am finding it hard to do things. I am feeling extremely tired and run down. I truly feel bad for my wife who as of late has been doing the majority of the parenting. I wish I could be more active in my son’s life but I just can’t get my energy level up. I have tried to do some exercise but it’s impossible to get the energy or the desire to really stick to it. I feel like I am aging too fast.
It is hard to admit that I have lost my interest in going to work, being a lover to my wife, being a parent, getting out of bed and doing much of anything at all. Is this feeling ever going to subside? I tried going to my doctor and he offered me anti-depressants. I have refused to take them because one of the symptoms is low sex drive; I don’t need my sex drive to sink any lower than it already. My wife keeps badgering me to see a hormones doctor but this is where the stubborn part comes in. I don’t want to feel this way but as the man of the family I don’t want to feel like I am letting my family down. I have mixed feelings on the whole issue, however, at this point it seems there is nothing else I can try.
Next time I write I hope that I will be in the process of visiting my new doctor.
-Rudy